Shadow woke up to a surprise. She had over 700 friend requests in Kat Book.  She didn’t understand why so many people wanted to be her friend. She had been writing openly about her life through her blog “One Paw at a Time,” She hoped that was why people wanted to be her friend and not because of her bikini picture she posted a couple of days ago.  Anyway, she was happy that her writing was garnering such attention, and people were interested in her story.  She accepted all friend request as she wants her blog following to grow.  Next week, she is going to take her story in a new direction. She hopes her fans will like it.  All new level all-new Shadowthecat.com.  Tune in…

Rocky woke up hungry, as usual. Thom was still sleeping, but Rocky knew how to take care of that. He marched into Thom’s room jumped up on the bed and began to paw at Thom’s nostrils. When that didn’t work he started to lick Thom’s face, particularly around Thom’s lips. “When that failed, he went to his last tactic to wake Thom up. He began biting Thom’s earlobes and pulling at them. “Rocky stop, stop,” said Thom in a sleepy voice. It was only 4:30 AM. Rocky continued to pull and bite at Thom’s earlobes. “Alright, alright, I’m getting up,” he finally said in defeat as he knew Rocky would not stop until he got up to feed him. Rocky merrily jumped off the bed and jauntily sped his way to the kitchen when Thom threw back the covers and got out of bed. “You’re too much,” he said aloud as he made his way to the kitchen. There was Rocky all giddy and meowing his hunger meow non-stop. It was at this point that Shadow came in to join the fun. “Meow, Meow, Meow,” said Shadow and Rocky in unison. “I’ve got to start training Rocky not to do this Thom thought. Now, he has Shadow meowing too, he said aloud to no one in particular. He fed the cats and went back to bed. I’m buying a squirt bottle later today, he thought…

Shadow has a couple of bad days. She talked to her sponsor, Kitty Litter, and has agreed to continue the steps with her despite the fact Kitty Litter is skipping steps 6-8 with her. Kitty Litter has promised her that those steps will be covered in step 9. So after a couple of days of not willing to write her harm’s list of those people she had harmed, she sat down yesterday and started it. But then she had a falling out with her friend of eight years, and she was sad but saw it coming. Her friend kept telling her every day she was going to relapse because she had a pattern. She also told her she was a piece of shit. Plus, she had been trying to control her all the time to how she drove to how she talked. It hurt but Shadow was no longer going to be treated as less than.

It was a mutual breakup. Shadow was sad but she needs friends that treat her right. Telling Shadow she was going to relapse practically every day was not helpful to Shadow. It hurt…

“Shadow, this is Kitty Litter.  I just got your message.  I’m sorry I have been busy.  I had a feeling you were getting squirrely.  Please call me back,” said Kitty Litter on the voice mail left for Shadow. Shadow listened to the voice message.  She hung up the phone feeling annoyed.  Now, she thought, I need to call her back and tell her I’m not comfortable with how she is sponsoring me   “Damn,” said Shadow aloud. 

Shadow ran the conversation over and over in her head.”Remember to stay with I statements, she told herself aloud as she dialed back Kitty Litter. “Hi, Kitty Litter, this is Shadow returning your call,” said Shadow nervously over the phone. “Hi, Shadow.  You mentioned in your voice mail that you needed to talk to me about your concerns you have about skipping steps. Please let me know the concerns,” said Kitty Litter.   “I’m not comfortable that we are skipping steps 6-8 and then moving on to step 9 directly.  I feel I need to go over steps 6-8 with my sponsor.  I also don’t like the fact we have never met in person.  The Zoom meetings don’t work for me. Why are we skipping steps, said Shadow. “You need to trust me. This is how I was taken through the steps.  From step 9, we will get your character defects.  Trust me, this system work.  It has worked for my sponsor and his sponsor,”’ said Kitty Litter. “I have step eight left to read.  I haven’t been reading because I felt uncomfortable with skipping the steps. I guess I will trust you and finish step 8 tonight and start my harm’s list tomorrow even though it doesn’t feel comfortable to me. “Okay, you follow through with what you said and call me tomorrow if you have any questions. I am here for you.  Call me any time.  I will get back to you,” said Kitty Litter. “Okay, thank you.  I’ll let you go now,” said Shadow.  “Goodbye, Sadow,” said Kitty Litter.  “Goodbye,” said Shadow.  As Shadow hung up the phone, she still felt uncertain about taking the steps in this way, but she told herself she will give it a go… 

It’s been seven days, and Shadow has not heard from Kitty Litter, her sponsor. Kitty Litter finished step five with Shadow and told her to read Steps 6-8 in the “PawXPaw,” a supplement to the “Big Litter Box in the Sky.” Shadow feels neglected and wants to get a new sponsor. She feels uncomfortable Kitty Litter is not going over the other steps with her and is instead moving her directly to Step 9. “Hello, Kitty Litter, this is Shadow. I have concerns I need to go over with you. Can you call me back?” said shadow to the Voice Mailbox message center. After Shadow hung up, she felt annoyed that Kitty Litter never returns her calls. “I need a new sponsor,” she said aloud to herself…

Kitty Litter was texting Shadow to see how she was doing.  Shadow texted her back,” not good.” “What’s wrong?” Can we video-talk?” said Kitty Litter.  “Sure,” said Shadow. “I will call you back via video,” said Kitty Litter.

Both disconnected the call and Kitty Litter called Shadow via video chat. “Hello, Shadow. Why are you not doing good?” said Kitty Litter.  “I keep having bad dreams.  I dreamed my mother had tied me up and tortured me by cutting my paw and tickling me,” said Shadow. Kitty Litter got quiet and did not respond. She even left the video chat for a brief second. “Have you finished reading chapter 5-8 in the 12X12?” said Kitty Litter when she finally spoke, “Did you not hear what I told you,” said Shadow. “Have you read the chapters yet, said Kitty Litter, repeating herself.  Shadow took in a big breath and said no. “How am I supposed to do step six when I don’t know my character defects yet,”  We never went over those,” said Shadow. . Well, there is a victimization role you play and not speaking up with your voice. For another.  We will go over your defects after you write your harm list,” said Kitty Litter, clearly annoyed with Shadow. “Oh, OK, doesn’t make sense, but OK,” said Shadow. “About my dream, how do I use the steps to resolve the conflict I know feel,” said Shadow. “I gave you a prayer to say before you go to sleep.  Are you saying this prayer?” said Kitty Litter.  “When I remember, said Shadow. “Well, you must say it every night,” said Kitty Litter. “Ok, said Shadow.  “When will you be done reading the chapters I told you to read?” said Kitty Litter. “I’ll try to finish it by the end of the week,” said Shadow.  “Very good.  We will talk then,” said Kitty Litter.  “Have a good night.  I have to go into work,” said Kitty Litter.  “OK, see you at the end of the week,” said Shadow and disconnected the video call….

After Shdadow was comforted by Thom over her night terror, Shadow called her friend Phoebe, “Good morning Phoebe. How are you?” “I’m alright. The daylight savings time change has me a bit slow today, but otherwise than that, I’m dong great, How are you?” said Pheobe, “I’m a bit of a mess myself. II had more dreams about my mother’s treatment toward me last night. It was very disturbing. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, more locked away memories are surfacing due to my therapy, I dreamt my mother had tied all my paws together and then she took broken glass and cut one of my paws,” said Shadow starting to choke up. “That’s terrible. Are you sure it was a memory and not just a dream?” said Phoebe, It was a memory. I have a deep scar on my left paw, I;m afraid what else might surface. I knew she treated me badly and ignored me, but I didn’t expect the behavior to be monstrous,” said Shadow. “i’m so sorry, Shadow. You didn’t deserve that. You are my best friend and you are so loving and kind. I’d kick her ass if she were still alive, ” said Phoebe, “Do you still have her ashes?” said Phoebe, “Yes, I do,” said Shadow. “We should dump them down the toilet,” said Phoebe. “I can’t do that. She gave me life,” said Shadow. “You don’t owe her anything,” said Phoebe. Just then Rocky called Sahdow, It was time for Rocky’s breakfast. “I need to feed Mr. Bowling Ball before he starts screaming for food, ” said Shadow.. “Talk to you later,” said Shadow as she hung up the Phone.

When Shadow and Rocky got home from their therapy sessions, they each went their separate ways. Rocky headed to the kitchen scouting for food. Shadow went to her bedroom and lay on her bed.

The ropes were being tied tight around her paws, and a feather was rubbed against her paws and her belly. Shadow looked up, and she saw her mother blankly staring at her telling her she was a bad kitten and should never have been born. Shadow began to cry. She had done nothing wrong. And then her mother pulled out a piece of broken glass and deliberately cut Shadow’s paw. “Bad kitty, bad kitty, her mother said. Shadow screamed-meowed from the pain. Her heart was beating and she was sweating. She felt fear to down to her paws. “Meow, Meow, screamed Shadow. Awakened, fighting for air, she woke up from the nightmare.

Thom heard Shadow’s screams and ran into Shadow’s room. “What’s wrong, Shadow my baby girl, said Thom as he sat on the edge of her bed. “I was having dreams about my mother again,” meowed-cried Shadow. “You’re safe now. I will protect. No one will ever hurt you again,” said Thom as he stroked Shadow’s fur. Against her own self-will, she began to purr…

Rocky stepped inside Dr. Hardnose’s office with a chip on his shoulder. He did not want to be there and did not want to look at his over eating. “Good morning, Rocky. I sense you are not happy you are here. Can you tell me about that?” said Dr. Hardnose. Your assumption about me not wanting to be here is correct. I see nothing wrong with my eating. My sister is insisting I go to therapy. I don’t need it. She needs it not me,” said Rocky. “Why do you say that, Rocky?” Dr. Hardnose said. “Our mother didn’t treat her the same as me. She ignored Shadow and didn’t let her eat most of the time. It was like our mother wanted her dead,” said Rocky choking up a bit. “How does this make you feel, Rocky?” said Dr. Hardnose. “I don’t understand why our mother did that to her. I was always afraid I would be next. She obviously did not care whether Shadow lived or die. Shadow sprayed me with a water bottle last week. It made me feel like she must have felt when our mother sprayed her with water. It made me very scared. She apologized for spaying me with water and said she would never do that again. I can’t imagine what having water squirted at her every feeding must have felt like. She has to be pretty messed up from the behavior displayed toward her,” said Rocky. “And you don’t think that impacted you?” said Dr. Hardnose. “I guess it did. I”m always on edge when I eat. I’m afraid it will be taken away constantly. Although, I know my new owner, Thom would never do that to me. It’s still in the back of my mind. “Do you think that is why you over eat?” “Our time is up doctor. I need to go meet Shadow, She is my ride home,”said Rocky in an attempt to avoid answering the question…

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