Shadow and Rocky got to their therapists’ appointment ten minutes late.  Shadow was upset at Rocky as he was the reason.  He fought with her about going to the therapist’s appointment.  He kept saying he didn’t need to go and made excuses why he couldn’t go. “Come on Rocky, we are here.  I need you to not fight me on this. You’re eating is out of control. It’s going to kill you if you don’t watch out,” said Shadow as she opened the passenger car door to get Rocky out,

They walked up the driveway to the therapist’s office.  Rocky dragging his paws the whole way.  Shadow had to pull him along.  When they got inside, the room was empty.  Rocky sat away from Shadow in defiance. 

Shadow’s therapist came out first.  “Good morning, Shadow. Please follow me,” said Mr. Ruthless, Shadow’s therapist. .  Shadow got up from her seat and followed Mr. Ruthless to his office.  Shadow nervously took a seat inside Mr. Ruthless’s office. She was scared to talk about her mother. But, she knew she had to eventually. “How are you today?” asked Mr. Ruthless.  “I’m ok,” said Shadow, not wanting to talk any further. “What’s wrong with you today?” said Mr. Ruthless.  Shadow sat in silence fighting her desire to want to speak but afraid to do so. Sadow just stared at the wall. Fifteen minutes went by and still, Shadow could not speak. Finally, after twenty minutes went by, Shadow spoke. “My mother used to squirt me with the water bottle when she didn’t like what I was doing. She even squirted me when I wanted milk from her. I was afraid to eat and afraid to do anything without being squirted with water.  I was scared all the time. I was glad when Thom, my new owner, took me home and showed me love that I did not get from my mother. I squirted Rocky the other day.  I feel bad I did that.  I acted like my mother,” said shadow in disgust. “Sometimes we hurt the one we love the most,” said the therapist.  “Why do you think your mother squirted you with water?” said Mr. Ruthless.  “I don’t think she loved me. I think she felt I was a nuisance,” said Shadow as tears fell down her furry face. “That’s a hard reality to deal with as a kitten,” said Mr. Ruthless. “How are you feeling right now.  Our session is nearing the end. I don’t want you leaving here upset,” continued Mr. Ruthless.  Shadow lied. “I’m fine,” she said. Shadow got up from her seat and made her way back to the waiting room.  Rocky was not there.  

Rocky just sat in his chair not saying a word to his therapist, Mr. Hardnose. “We can sit here all day.  It’s your money and time that you are wasting. Rocky shot Mr. Hardnose a dirty look.  “Finally, I get a reaction out of you,” said Mr. Hardnose.  “Why are you so angry this morning?” said Mr. Hardnose. “I’m not angry. I just don’t feel I need therapy. So, I eat more than others.  Big Deal!” said Rocky. “It is a big deal. You are grossly overweight, and you are bigger than you were the first time we met. You’re starting to look like a bowling ball.

Why do you think you eat so much?” said Mr. Hardnose. “I told you, I don’t. I’m only eating when I am hungry,” said Rocky highly annoyed. “How often do you eat, Rocky?” said Mr. Hardnose. “I only eat when I am hungry,” said Rocky. “Which is all the time judging by the way you look,” said Mr. Hardnose in a matter-of-fact tone. Rocky got up and stormed out of the room. He had had enough. 

Shadow was in the waiting room when Rocky said, “Come on. Let’s blow this popsicle stand,” in a rather demanding voice. Shadow said, “What’s wrong. How did your session go?” “I don’t want to talk about it.  Can we just go?” said Rocky.  “Okay,” said Shadow as she stood up and headed for the door to leave the office, Rocky quickly followed after her.  In the car, they didn’t say a word to each other as they were caught up in their own worlds and what had just transpired…

Rocky woke up an hour later after crashing from his feeding frenzy. He woke up hungry, as usual. He looked down at his body and saw his furry belly was touching the floor, not exactly cute, he thought. “I know I need to slow down my eating and eat less, but I can’t stop once I start. I don’t understand why,” said Rocky to himself.

Just then Shadow entered the kitchen where Rocky had fallen asleep after gorging himself with his food. “Rocky, I need to talk to you. Are you mentally available now? ” said Shadow to Rocky. “What does that mean?” said Rocky. “I just want to make sure you are present when I talk to you. You’re always thinking about food, the getting and eating it constantly. When you do that, you are not present in the moment, I need you to be present,” said Shadow. “I’m present, ” said Rocky. “Good, I want to make amends to you for me squirting water at you to control you. It was wrong, and I won’t do it again. I know you already feel bad about your food addiction. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” said Shadow getting misty-eyed. “You can stop pressuring me to go to a therapist. I don’t need it,” said Rocky. “That is not going to happen. You need the therapy, sorry,’ said Shadow. “Don’t spray me with water anymore,” said Rocky. “Done,” said Shadow. Now, let’s get ready for therapy. We have an appointment at 10:00 this morning…

After getting off the phone with Phoebe, Shadow dropped her body to the ground and began to pray to her spirit animal, the shark because she was born in July. Her spirit animal helps her reign in her fears and face them head-on. She also prays to her spirit animal to overcome any obstacles in her way and to be brave when she does have to make amends even though she doesn’t want to.

“Shark, please help me to be strong and brave to make my amend to Rocky for squirting water at him when he was in his food addiction, I need the strength to do this, Amen,” said Shadow while she lay on the faded oriental rug in her bedroom. Tears began to fall down her furry face. She didn’t like it when she acted like her mother.

Shadow got up off the floor and went in search for Rocky. She knew she had to make this amends now rather than later. She did not want to relapse by drinking iced tea to turn off her emotions.

She found rocky in the kitchen as she expected him to be. He was eating food without chewing it and swallowing it down like there was no tomorrow. At first, she became irritated and angry. She screamed,”Rocky, slow down. You are going to choke yourself. ” Rocky looked up at her briefly with shock and then went back to his eating frenzy. Shadow was so angry she stormed out of the kitchen.

Today, would not be the day she made the amend. She was too angry.

“Shark, help me to change the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can, and the knowledge to know the difference,” she mumbled under her breath as she made her way back to her bedroom…

“stay off drinking iced tea”

Shadow regretted how she treated Rocky about his eating disorder.  She knows he is not trying to be bad, that he has an addiction to food.  She realized she treated Rocky the way her mom treated her, with distaste. As Phoebe her BFF would tell her, she needs to make amends,  She hates when she has to do that, but she knew she needed to clear her side of the street if she was to stay off drinking iced tea to cope with her feelings. She called Phoebe for support  “Hi Phoebe,  I need to make amends I don’t want to make.  It’s involving Rocky.  I sprayed him with water when he was having a fit we wouldn’t feed him. It’s something my mother would do to me,” said Shadow. Phoebe said, “You’re doing the right thing.  We as teaholics can’t afford to have resentments as it will take us out. Ask your spirit animal for the strength to make the amends,’ said Phoebe.  “Ok, I will.  I will pray on it also. I know I need to do it.  Thanks for the support,” said Shadow…

Shadow heard Rocky’s temper tantrum and she had had enough.  She got up from her bed and headed for her bathroom for the water bottle sprayer she brought last week.  She stormed into the kitchen and began to spray water at Rocky.  Startled and surprised Rocky stopped acting out over wanting food. “Why’d you do that. You know cats hate water,” whimpered Rocky.  “I’m tired of your behavior around being fed. I’ve had it up to here,” said Shadow angrily as she put her hand up in the air.  Shadow realized part of her anger was she couldn’t control Rocky, just like she couldn’t control her mother.  And that made her pissed. “From now on, every time you carry-on about food, I will spray you with water.  Enough is Enough!,” said Shadow as she headed back to her room to think about how much of her anger was due to talking about her mother at her therapy session today…

On the drive home after their therapists’ appointments, Shadow and Rocky sat in silence neither one speaking to the other. Rocky was angry at Shadow for making him go, and Shadow was too upset about her mother issues that she didn’t wish to speak to anyone 

When they got home each went their separate way.  Rocky made a beeline to the refrigerator and began to whine he was hungry,  Shadow went to her bedroom and laid down on her bed where she began to cry. 

Thom heard Rocky crying for food and meowing loudly.  He went to the kitchen and found Rocky on the flood having a hissy fit to no one in particular. “Had a bad therapy appointment, huh, little guy?” said Thom to Rocky withering on the floor. “Yes, and I am hungry.” It’s only 10:00 AM.  Lunch isn’t for a couple of hours,” said Thom. That remark caused Rocky to get louder and put on more of a show on how desperately he has hungry. “You can wait until lunch,” said Thom as he left the room.  

After Thom left, Rocky made his way to the kitchen trash bag.  He sniffed at it and smelled the sweet essence of food. He then attacked the bag and found morsels of chicken meat inside.  He ate the chicken as if he had never eaten before…

Shadow and Rocky made their way up the long walkway to Suite 310.  Shadow tentatively opened the door to the suite. Inside she saw there were seats but no receptionist.  Another patient was waiting in one of the chairs. Rocky noticed the walls hung serene pictures of flowers and mountainscapes. Shadow and Rocky took their seats and waited for the therapists to come and get them. 

‘Shadow, good morning. Please come with me,” said Shadow’s therapist, Mr. Ruthless. He led her down a hallway to the third door. Please have a seat.  Shadow nervously took a seat directly across from Mr. Ruthless.

Meanwhile, a short while later, Ms. Hardnose came and got Rocky.  Rocky followed her to the second door down the hallway.  Ms, Hardnose had Rocky take a seat.. “Tell me why you are here,” said Ms. Hardnose.  “My sister made me come.  She keeps telling me I eat too much.  I can’t help it.  I am also hungry.  I’m still a kitten,” said Rocky.  I see.  Do you think you overeat?” said Ms. Hardnose. “I don’t,  I am growing and need food constantly,” said Rocky. Can I tell you my observation?” said Ms. Hardnose. “I don’t like the sound of that,” said Rocky putting his head down. “I see a scared kitten that is eating to hide his feelings.  You look like a bowling ball.  A kitten should be lean.  I am concerned for you,” said Ms. hardnose. “If you’re tired of eating your feelings, we have some work to do.  That’s all the time we have.  Will I see you next week?  “Yes, I think so, said, Rocky.  Rocky got up and went back to the lobby.

“Shadow what made you come in here today?” asked Mr. Ruthless.. “I’ve been feeling sad about my mother.  She has dementia and Alhiemzers and is close to the end of her life,”  I have mixed feelings about my mother.  She sexualized me at a young age and molested me.  I one side I’m happy she is dying and on the other I am sad, “I understand where you are coming from. I feel I can help you.  We will need to talk about your kittenhood and your upbringing.  Are you ready to do that?” asked Mr. Ruthless. “I think I am. I”m tired of running front it.  I never truly feel happy most of the time. I have nightmares at night due to her behavior,” said Shadow with tears running down her furry face. Our time is up Shadow. I look forward to working with you.  Same time next week?” “Yes, thank you, doctor.  I am scared but I know ai need to address my mommy issue, said Shadow as she stood up to head back to the lobby.

When Shadow got to the lobby, she saw Rocky sitting by himself.  The lobby was empty now.  “Come on Rocky, let’s go home,” said Shadow as she reached for his hand to pull him out of the chair.  The two held each other’s hand as they headed to the car to head home…

Shadow woke up excited this morning. Today her and Rocky meet their new therapist. She got Rocky up early and had him groom himself. He still had bandages on his head where the horns were removed. Since it was Winter, Shadow told him to wear a beanie to cover up the bandages.

Breakfast this morning consisted of omelets and dry cat food. She even gave Rocky extra, so he wouldn’t whine he was hungry. After they ate breakfast, they were ready to head out to their therapists in Encino. Rocky was nervous and didn’t want to go. “There is nothing wrong with me. I’m just hungry all the time,” said Rocky rubbing his stomach, as shadow put his seatbelt on in the front seat. “There’s something behind your eating non-stop and want to be fed constantly. You are eating your feelings away, I believe,” said Shadow. “I need to see a therapist just as much as you do YOu aren’t doing this alone. We are both seeing one,” continued Shadow.

Shadow turned on the ignition and began to drive to Encino. Rocky began to cry-mumble to himself, “I don’t want to go,” he whimpered as shadow made her way down Reseda Boulevard. “Too bad, you are going. Thom wants you to see a therapist also,” said Shadow as she turned into the parking lot of the therapist’s office. “We are here, she said. Come one let’s go. Our future awaits us,” said Shadow as she stepped out of the car door…

Shadow started making calls to find a therapist for both her and Rocky. She went over her list and found two that seemed reasonable in cost due to a sliding scale. Rocky’s therapist was a female by the name of Kathy Hardnose who specialized in eating disorders, and shadow’s was named Jim Ruthless, who specialized in childhood regression therapy They both have their first appointment on Monday. Shadow was having a difficult time because she heard from her Mother’s caretaker that her mother was nearing the end of life. Shadow had not talked to her mother since 2014 due to differences in opinion and because she moved away when Thom, her owner, moved to Reseda, a suburb of Los Angeles. Shadow had mixed feeling about her mother, and Rocky was triggering some of these feelings toward him. She knew she needed to address her feelings toward her mother and her childhood before she started drinking Iced Teas again to cope…

Rocky got home from receiving the antidote and having his horns removed. He is to rest in bed for a few days but should be back to normal in a couple of days.

Meanwhile, Shadow is searching for a therapist for her and Rocky to deal with their issues. Shadow’s issue being she won’t punish Rocky when he does something wrong and Rocky for the eating disorder that causes Shadow to want to punish him. Deep issues indeed lie ahead…